She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize