some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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