Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
