Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
