My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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