Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize