I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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