Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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