I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
