we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize