i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
