How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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