Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
