I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
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He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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