I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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