kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
