so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
