So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
