YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
