So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
