If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
