South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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