And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
