college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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