this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
