We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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