Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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