I'm really into asian looking animals
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize