i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
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Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have aggressive nipples.
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I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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