'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
