I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
