Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
