I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
we should paint friendship bongs
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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