Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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