Christians are straight up FREAKS
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
