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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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