Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
