The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize