Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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