This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize