Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
