I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize