my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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