He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
