have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
