Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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