your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
