nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
