were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
