i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
