I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
