I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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