Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
