...so i touched it.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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