i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
