WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
