He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
