I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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