Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize