I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize